Letting Go

It was March 2, 2012, the day of my grandfather's funeral. Poppy, who was ninety-six had passed away peacefully a few days earlier. We had just left the cemetery after the graveside service. I was in the car with my husband when we pulled into the driveway of my grandparents' house that they had lived in my entire life. I’d lived right next door to them during my 3rd through 5th grade years of school. In fact, my family lived with them in this house for a short time while we were waiting for our new house to be built.
 
Minutes before, I had learned that the house and most of the property had been sold. Our family had about thirty days to move everything out of it before the new family would be moving in.
 
Emotions came crashing in my heart as I saw Poppy's tractor sitting there just like it had been for my whole life. It was probably a newer tractor. But he had always had a tractor for as long as I could remember. 

I walked around that day trying to take in the reality of what was happening. As I looked out over my grandparents' property my aunt's words resonated in my heart.
 
"It's a chapter coming to an end."

She was having a hard time with all the sudden change. Seeing my brother and me walking around soaking in the memories that were created on that land was more than she could take. With teary eyes, she walked away and went inside the house.
 

As hard as it was to face the reality of a chapter of my life being over, I knew I needed to face it head on.
 
This reminds me of a memory I have of my father pulling a splinter out of my foot. I was terrified of the pain. I would’ve done anything to avoid it. But my daddy—in his wisdom—knew that the splinter needed to be dealt with or it would become infected. So I wailed as he made me sit still until he gently removed the culprit that was causing the pain. The pain was intense for a short time. But as soon as he removed it I felt better. 

Just like the splinter needed to be removed, our hurts and sorrows need to be removed by our Father in heaven.
 
How many times do we choose to run from pain? When in reality, it is facing our pain that makes it go away. Sure, the grief might be intense for a short time as we are facing it. But in the long run, after the pain has been dealt with we are free to live fully and freely without the pain of the past weighing us down.
 
Pain festers in our hearts and infects us with bad symptoms in the same way a splinter would fester in our foot and cause many bad symptoms.
 
Knowing that I needed to let go of a chapter of my life, I embraced the pain. Week after week I returned to my grandparents' house to help go through their things before the new family moved in. As I combed through each closet and drawer it was therapy for my soul. I would find treasures from my past and gleefully share my excitement, "Look what I found!"
 
The very last day I went to their house was the hardest. The week that I knew would be my very last visit I prayed for God's help. I knew it wouldn't be easy to let go of something that had been a happy part of my life since I was born.
 
As I pondered the memories of my grandparents' home, I heard the Lord’s still small voice within me.  "I will use the house and property to bless another family in the same way it has blessed yours."  As the Lord was speaking to my heart, I realized that in order to experience the new beginnings He had for my life I had to be willing to let go of the past.

Why is it as humans that we hold on so tightly to our pain and to our past?
 

The day that I went to pick up the last piece of furniture, the new family was moving in. I introduced myself and began to share my heart with them. Through a few tears and with my voice breaking, I said, “I want this house to bless your family the way it has blessed mine.”   

The gentleman replied to me, "It already is a blessing us." I want to stay here for the rest of my life." While I shared the difficulty I was having in letting go, he responded, “I've got to go inside now, your words are about to cause me to start sobbing."

I'm the kind of person who truly wears my emotions on my sleeves. The vulnerability I was showing about the difficulty of letting go was really touching his heart. It was a powerful God moment for all of us there that day. In my letting go, the new family was able to embrace the gift of this beautiful, sacred home-place. 

My husband and I stood on the edge of the property that overlooks one of the most beautiful views I’ve ever seen. As I embraced my sadness, my husband prayed the sweetest prayer for me. 

In those last moments standing on that beautiful piece of property that had been a sanctuary for me throughout my life, I realized that the sacredness I felt on Poppy's land could be felt every day of my life wherever I am. I rode away from Poppy’s home on this earth and thought about the legacy that he had left behind for me and for my family. As our car pulled away, I let the tears flow. It was an hour and a half drive home. I prayed, “Lord, heal my heart.” By the time I returned home I felt better.

That was last spring on Good Friday of 2012, three days before Easter. How beautiful of the Lord to allow me to celebrate His resurrection with a healed heart, free of pain.

The legacy of Poppy’s love for Christ lives on in my heart. I am free to carry on and live free from the sadness. When we look heavenward, life is sweet and beautiful. When we focus on what we've lost, our lives become defined by brokenness and pain.

That’s what letting go does. It releases the pain and opens the door in our hearts for new beginnings and new beauty.
 

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:7 ESV

Live Abundantly!

Amy

Free Indeed

I walked into my father’s house and there she sat. My step-mother, Debbie, was in the final stages of cancer. Her frail, weak body made her barely recognizable. She burst into tears when she saw my face. She must have seen the compassion in my eyes. She was not usually emotional. However, that day was different. There was a keen sense of God’s love in the atmosphere.

I sat down next to her and we began to talk. It was just the two of us sitting there soaking in the Presence that filled the room.  I don’t remember much about the conversation. I only remember a deep, intense love in my heart. I asked Debbie if she would like me to pray with her, and she enthusiastically said, “Yes!” I held tight onto her hands and began to pray words of love and protection over her. The fear I had seen in her eyes began to lift and a fresh glow came onto her face.

After spending time chatting and praying together that day, I hugged her tight and said, “Goodbye.” As the door shut behind me, a flood of emotion came into my spirit. I began sobbing tears of compassion for the pain Debbie was feeling. I realized in that moment that I had experienced the greatest miracle of my life—God had set me free from the prison of unforgiveness. 

It was decades before that Debbie had been (in my young mind) the one who had broken up my family. At thirteen years old, my dad had left me and my family to marry Debbie and raise her daughter. Hurt and bitterness plagued me and held me captive for a very long time.

But that day, I rejoiced in the freedom I had found in Christ. I had made the choice to forgive my step-mom many years before she had been diagnosed with cancer. And on this emotional day, the deep love I was expressing to Debbie was the evidence that I was free indeed.

Christ came to earth and died so that we could live and love freely. That day with my step-mom will be forever etched in my mind because I know that it was only through the power of Jesus Christ that a person could love the one who hurt them the most. It was the last time that Debbie was able to communicate with me before she passed away peacefully several weeks later. A number of years have gone by and the love I have for my step-mom is still as strong as it was then.

In Isaiah 61, it says the Lord has anointed us—His followers—to bind up the brokenhearted and to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. How can we help set the captives free? We can start by spreading the message of forgiveness.

Freedom, undoubtedly, is being able to love those who have hurt us and being willing to share the goodness of Christ with every person we come into contact with. There is not a greater prison than the one of bitterness. And I am certain there is no greater freedom than walking in true love and forgiveness.

Live Abundantly!
Amy 

This was originally written in February as a guest post for Ask Wise Counsel. http://askwisecounsel.blogspot.com

Stunning Beauty

Joy was overflowing out of my soul as I gazed out at one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. I was standing near a 15 acre sunflower farm—something I had been dreaming about for years, but never experienced. My family and I drove over an hour to Rutledge, Georgia to visit a sunflower farm I had discovered by searching online.

As I was gazing at the field from a window in the gift shop, I was exclaiming, "I feel like I'm in heaven!" I told a young woman that was working there that it was my first time to ever visit a sunflower farm. My childlike enthusiasm seemed to touch her deeply as she stood there with tears in her eyes.

Shortly after paying the fee for cutting the flowers, we made our way out onto the field. There were beads of sweat on my face as I walked through the field of flowers. The temperature was about 97 degrees and it was glorious even in the extreme heat!

It was surreal for me as I remembered envisioning this day so many years before. It was over six years ago that I wrote these words: "Today while I was running, the Lord gave me a vision. I saw myself in a long, flowing, gauzy, white skirt and a loose-fitting, matching white blouse…dancing in a field of beautiful yellow flowers. The flowers were above my knees and they were surrounding me for as far as I could see. It was a beautiful picture in my mind of how my heart has been let loose (set free) and longs to be surrounded by BEAUTY. As I was visualizing this I imagined Michael taking pictures of me and capturing how my heart feels…on film... I trust that the Lord will lead us to a field of yellow flowers!"

The same year I had the flower vision, I stumbled upon a huge print of the most magnificent sunflower field. At the bottom of the print I noticed these words: "Take the time to MARVEL at the wonders of life." While reading these words, I knew that someday I would find a field of sunflowers just like the one in the large picture. I purchased the print and hung it on the wall behind my desk in my small writing studio. The theme of my little writing nook became "sunflowers." Looking at the picture of the beautiful sunflower field has been exhilarating for me during the years that I've had it. But it doesn't compare to standing in a real life field of sunflowers.

As I stood there in the midst of the beauty all I could think about was how heaven has touched me with the freedom I have found through the love of Christ.

Jesus wants for all of us to live in His freedom and let Him heal our hurts as they arise from within our souls. He died on the cross so that we could live freely and gloriously! It took me decades to see this and to truly know that Jesus wants me to live free from carrying the burdens of life.

I used to be weighed down with anxieties, hurts, and fears. The disappointments of life had robbed me of the life Jesus had envisioned for me and for all of His followers. I had carried those burdens unnecessarily.

All along, I could have been surrendering my cares to Him. But I held onto the hurt for much too long. When I realized the healing power in the blood of Christ, He began removing the hurts and fears—layer by layer—from my heart and began replacing them with a sense of freedom that makes me want to dance in fields of flowers. So I did that recently. I jumped. I twirled. I threw my arms up toward heaven and rejoiced over the freedom in my heart while my husband was shooting every picture he could. With the camera, he was capturing a visual picture of the glorious freedom that is found in Christ alone.

In Him, we are free to live abundantly...free to dance...free to sing...free to shout hallelujah...free to be what He created us to be...free to bask eternally in His stunning beauty.

Psalm 27:4

One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD And to meditate in His temple.
  

Live Abundantly!

Amy

For more information about the sunflower field I found in Georgia, visit the website:

http://www.sunflowerfarmfestival.com/

Becoming a Strong Vessel

As children of God we are the vessels of the Holy Spirit. Our Creator desires to empower us to do great things on this earth. The empowerment He gives us begins with getting whole and healthy so that ultimately we can be mighty vessels of His Spirit.

In 1997 I wrote a prayer that changed my life. I prayed, “Lord, I want to be whole and healthy spiritually, emotionally, and physically so that I can be a vessel of Yours.” At the time I wrote this prayer I was battling postpartum depression and felt worn down in every way. I was far from being strong and I desperately wanted to be empowered with God’s strength.

In my weakness, God picked me up, and began strengthening me and making me whole. I am not the same person I was when I wrote that prayer. Today, I am a strong woman of God.

I am writing this with complete humility. Because without the makeover God has given me I would be nothing but a huge mess. If God can make a strong vessel out of a mess like me, He can make one out of anybody.

One of the main purposes of The Live Love Laugh Club is to encourage women to keep moving forward. Part of moving forward is becoming healthier spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

At our last meeting our focus was on physical health. Being healthy physically is a component of being a strong vessel of God. God wants all of us to be strong...He wants us to be healthy and live abundantly!  
Certified Life Coach, Becky Harmon, came to our meeting to talk to us about ‘Four Strategies for Physical Success.’ It was a great blessing to listen to Becky as she shared her wisdom with us. Becky has a strong anointing to bring women into wholeness and health. God is using her mightily through her coaching business, “Success Not Sabotage Coaching.” Visit her website and sign up for a free coaching session: www.successnotsabosage.com