Saturday, June 9, 2012

Desperately Seeking God

I was organizing a closet and stumbled upon a prayer I had written to God when I was twenty years old. The words I had written expressed my desire to learn to depend on Christ like an infant with her mother. If I had known what was in store for my future, I don't know that I would have been brave enough to pray the words written in that prayer.

At that time in my life I didn't really know what it meant to be dependent on God. There was no reason to depend on Him. I was a young newlywed working for a Fortune 500 company, sailing through life. To top things off, I was head over heels in love with the man I had dreamed of as a little girl. I was "Cinderella" and my "Prince Charming" had recently swept me off of my feet. 

For a season, the sunshine in my life remained, but then the rain came, and eventually turned into violent thunderstorms. My marriage began to fail, the job I sought fulfillment from ended and I felt hopeless. Everything that made me feel safe and protected had been lost. In 1997, 12 years after I had prayed to have an infant like dependence on God I hit rock bottom.  I clearly remember wanting my life to be over.

In my desperation, God picked me up, put the pieces of my heart back together, and healed my marriage.

Shortly after God began restoring my marriage, I woke up from a deep sleep with these words replaying over and over in my head: "Wherever you go, I will go...wherever you go, I will follow..." 

During a telephone conversation, I shared the words with my mother, hoping she would have some insight. She told me that these words were from a scripture in the book of Ruth. Through tears, my mother read the words from Ruth 1:16, "Ruth said: 'Entreat me not to leave you, or turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.' "  My heart was touched, but I still wasn't sure what the relevance of this verse was for my life.

Several hours later, I felt a powerful sense of Christ's presence as I was praying, and suddenly I remembered something I had forgotten. My husband and I had chosen a verse to have engraved on our wedding bands before we were married. I couldn't get the ring off of my finger fast enough to see what scripture was inscribed on my wedding band. My heart fluttered when I saw that it was Ruth 1:16. As I sat there weeping, I rejoiced in knowing that God had known all along that we would make it through the severe storms we had faced in our marriage. 

Is there something you are relentlessly praying about, and desperately seeking God for?

* Don't give up praying (Luke 18: 1-8).

* Remain steadfast and don't lose heart (Hebrew 12:3).

* Keep a heart of gratitude (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Christ is the One who restores, heals, and performs miracles as we desperately and wholeheartedly seek after Him.

This article has been revised and was originally written in 2008 for Intercessory Prayer Network SE.

Live Abundantly!

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